


Broadway, Here I Come!

by rizzy_luke



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: ??? - Freeform, M/M, Post-Canon, inspired by the two player game album!, joe iconis - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-03-26 08:34:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19002190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rizzy_luke/pseuds/rizzy_luke
Summary: Michael had always been self conscious about his, well, everything. But recently, his voice had been taking the spotlight of his anxiety.(But people liked his singing tho)or in which this is a fic where people realized michael mell got a good voice and knew how to use it





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wow! A singer Michael fic??? 
> 
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> 
> Constructive criticism are really appreciated. Also, English isn’t my first language so

Michael had always been self conscious about his, well, everything. But recently, his voice had been taking the spotlight of his anxiety.

 

Here’s a thing about Michael.

 

The only person who noticed and cared about him was only Jeremy Heere. So when he suddenly got dragged along with the group of people proclaimed as the Squip Squad, it- it made things weird to Michael; suddenly having to mind and care about the words he’d say, holding back his dumb impulses at their lunch table, having friends, it’s all weird for Michael.

 

Jeremy seemed happy with them, and he seemed more happy whenever Michael tagged along. So, he played nice and made sure he’s at least tolerable, and hey, Christine and Rich actually talked to him more than a few times, so that’s something. He got other friends to casually talk to other than Jeremy. And slowly but surely, he’s starting to feel comfortable around the new kind of school life he’s suddenly thrown with.

 

He may hang around with the popular kids, he’s also perhaps maybe actually genuinely friends with them, but that didn’t make people to actually like him more or recognize him more than ‘Anti-Social Headphones Kid.’

 

So when suddenly he’s- something, not a top star but definitely not a loser to laugh at, it’s all very bizarre to one Michael Mell.

 

See, he had this small talent he liked to call ‘good singing,’ which he told to almost no one, and only to Jeremy with a joking manner. His moms said he sounded gorgeous and he remembered Jeremy saying he’s alright, and Michael left it there and only sang alone in the basement or as a joke when with Jeremy. Now, singing had apparently been Michael’s hidden talent when people found out, and it’s- it’s-

 

Let’s get on to it.

 

It started when Jeremy caught him singing in his room to the tune of Whitney’s ‘I Wanna Dance With Somebody.’ It’s not like Jeremy never heard him sing before, but after- evil tic-tac shit that went on for months, after recovery that went on for another month, casually hanging out with Michael time had been limited, and they mostly smoke weed or play games. So, Michael knew something was different when Jeremy walked in on him which resulted in the boy being surprised and awestricken by Michael’s display of skill, or at least, that’s what Jeremy called it many months later.

 

 _“I wanna dance with somebody,”_ He sang to the fullest, dancing in the middle of his room. Whitney’s voice blasted through the speakers, and Michael followed. _“I wanna feel the heat with somebody. I- wanna dance with somebody. Somebody who loves me.”_

 

“Dude, I didn’t know you can sing!” Jeremy suddenly exclaimed excitedly from the door resulting in Michael stopping abruptly with a yelp, startled at Jeremy’s sudden appearance.

 

“Jeremy? I- I didn’t realize you’d be- early,” Michael finished lamely, pulling down his headphones with Whitney still on, scratching his head sheepishly.

 

“Yeah, I- I guess I was bored at home,” Jeremy replied, a tad shyly, his face coloring a faint pink. It’s adorable. Jeremy added, “Besides, I wanted to see you, Micah.”

 

If Michael wasn’t currently confronted about his singing, his heart would have done a more impressive somersault than that.

 

Here’s another thing.

 

Michael’s hopelessly in love with his best friend and wanted nothing but the best for him. It fucking hurt watching Jeremy left with Christine Canigula while holding hands, but there’s this bittersweet smile that overpowered his sadness, and he let him go. He’s still his usual pining-best friend extraordinaire, but now he’s a pining-best friend who accepted things extraordinaire.

 

“Your singing earlier was great!” Jeremy gushed out, continuing excitedly. “I know that you can sing, but, Michael! That sounded really great! My voice would immediately crack if I went as high as that.”

 

Michael could feel his face heating up in embarrassment. He decided to shrug it off, hoping the topic would blow over. “Nah, man, it was nothing. I’m not that good.”

 

“Michael, you are that good!” Jeremy insisted firmly, stepping closer and grabbing both of Michael’s shoulder. Where did all this energy came from? Michael thought. He’s not even stuttering a little, so that meant Michael’s facing Determined Jeremy. That would be a good thing as long as it’s not projected to- this topic. Jeremy continued,his voice sincere and tender, “You have to believe that, Michael. You’re talented. Man, I can’t believe I just notice. We’ve known each other for years and I’ve only heard you sing like that just now?”

 

“Dude, stop it. Stop making a big deal out of this,” Michael usually would shove Jeremy lightly away right then and there, but the look in his eyes is so sincere, so soft, so genuine, Michael almost, almost believed him. He let out a breath, “C’mon, man, let’s just play video games, alright? It’s zombie killing time.”

 

And moments like this sparked hope inside Michael’s chest that maybe, just maybe, he still had a chance. That Jeremy maybe perhaps could reciprocate his feelings. But Michael quickly brushed that train of thought out of his mind tracks before it got further inside his head.

 

The next time he was confronted again because of his singing, it’s not just Jeremy, but also with the addition Christine, Jake and Rich (yeah, it’s a double date, fellas.)

 

Michael was waiting for Jeremy by the park, since he was the other boy’s ride home and they lived close anyway. He didn’t mind being Jeremy’s ride, he never mind. He always treasured those small moments he spent together with the other, the sight of Jeremy laughing with him, his eyes crinkling on the sides, free and genuine. So every time Jeremy reluctantly ask Michael to pick him up, and every time Michael can, he would agree in a heartbeat. Jeremy then would always apologize for being an ‘inconvenience,’ and every time he did, Michael then would always reassure him that it’s alright, that if he didn’t want to, he wouldn’t be there with him.

 

So there Michael was, sitting on one of the wooden bench in a park near the mall, where Jeremy agreed to meet up with Michael since he didn’t want to deal with parking but Jeremy’s didn’t set the exact time he’ll be done. This time Michael didn’t mind waiting that much, it really is a beautiful day.

 

It’s quiet there, peaceful quiet, with only the sound of birds chirping and soft wind blowing past him occasionally. It’s nice. Michael pulled his headphones on, pushing a button, playing his playlist that’s currently on shuffle. ‘Sleeping to Dream’ by Jason Mraz came through the speakers. Michael’s playlist was a mess. It’s a rollercoaster of genre and feelings if one were to put his playlist on shuffle. Thankfully, he’s in a Sleeping to Dream mood, and he couldn’t help but to sing along after watching nobody pass the park for a while.

 

 _“I’m sleeping to dream about you,”_ Michael sang softly, the chorus hitting. _“And I’m so damn tired. Of having to live without you, but I, I don’t mind.”_

 

Michael didn’t realize his voice was getting louder and stronger and clearer at each words, with him getting so immersed with the emotion of the song. He sang, passionately and fully, one of his hand gripping his headphones, his heart thudding in his chest, bursting with adrenaline. 

 

 _“I’m sleeping to dream without you! And I’m so damn tired, of having to live without you! But I don’t mind. I’m sleeping to dream about you and I’m so tired,”_ It’s the ending. Michael sang the last line softly, it’s the ending, _“I’m so tired.”_

 

Michael took a deep breath, satisfied with the song. He opened his eyes, and was shocked to find his group of friends was watching him, eyes wide with their own surprised expressions, except Jeremy, who’s grinning at him like a proud parent. Rich’s jaw was hanging, and Jake has this rare soft _holy shit_ look, and Christine could be described with the word ‘vibrating with excitement and happiness.’ It’s flattering, but Michael really didn’t want to be caught singing by any of them, much mess be gushed at.

 

“Uh, hi guys?” Michael managed that sentence out of his throat with difficulty, feeling his face heating up. Damn, he was so into the song he didn’t realize he had an audience.

 

“Dude!” Rich choked out, stepping closer, throwing his hands up at Michael. Christine started giggling softly, and Jeremy chuckled too. Jake was still silent, but Michael swore he heard a faint “holy shit,” by the taller boy. Michael’s stomach churned in a fluttery way, but he’s still not sure what to make of this. Rich said again, louder, “Dude! What was that?”

 

“What- what was what?” Michael played dumb.

 

“You- you- that was some mad singing skills, man!” Rich exclaimed again, even more louder. Thank fuck it’s not crowded there. He continued, his voice lowering, tone dramatic as he touched where his heart was supposed to be, “Your voice- that song- it was beautiful, man.”

 

“Yeah, bro, Michael, dude,” Jake added, his voice quieter than Rich. Surprised Jake was best Jake. “That was awesome. You were- you were really good, Michael.”

 

“Guys, it’s- it’s nothing, I’m not that good,” Michael realized he was using the same words he said to Jeremy. He opened his mouth again, wanting to add something, but his throat was stuck. “All of you guys can sing.”

 

“Yeah, but not like that,” Rich quickly replied with firm determination in his eyes. It reminded Michael of Jeremy, again, from that time. “Dude, you gotta believe me, you’re really good, Michael.”

 

“I already told you, Michael, you’re good!” Jeremy added, raising his voice. “See? Everyone here agrees.”

 

“Well, I don’t feel like my singing’s that good...” Michael mumbled audibly for everyone there, looking down.

 

“Maybe,” Christine spoke up, “It’s because it’s your own voice, Michael. You hear yourself singing, so maybe it may not sound good to you.” Christine tapped the side of her forehead as if she remembered something. “This is just like an artist who complained how their art looked terrible and that’s only because they drew it themselves. You’re a great singer in our honest opinion, Michael. Really.”

 

Everyone made sounds of agreement.

 

That does makes sense, Michael supposed. Still, he didn’t believe that his voice was special nor he was a talented singer. Jeremy could sing well, this Michael knew for a fact. He heard Christine sing a couple of times, and it’s always nice to hear her bubbly voice harmonizing with a tune. Rich was also not bad, once he did a falsetto when singing ‘Man or Muppet’ half drunkenly at one of Jake’s party. Jake is the only when he never heard sing before, but judging by his normal voice, he would say that Jake could be a good singer, too. Basically, everyone’s a good singer there and Michael was no one special.

 

What was he thinking? He shouldn’t make a big deal out of this.

 

“I guess you’re right, Chrissy,” Michael agreed half-heartedly, rubbing the back of his neck. He just wanted this conversation to end. He sighed deeply, eyeing them uncomfortably, “Guys, can we- drop this? I’m really not- feeling like talking about this.”

 

They gave each other concerned looks, clearly wanting to discuss about this further, but for the sake of Michael, they thankfully dropped it, then Michael finally could take Jeremy home.

 

The uncomfortable feeling that sat inside Michael earlier vanished as soon as they climbed inside the PT Cruiser. Jeremy launched into a funny story of how Rich accidentally inhaled a chip. Michael laughed, and Jeremy grinned. Soft music were playing in the background and nothing could be more perfect. Sure, pining sucks, and chances are Jeremy may not reciprocate his feelings, but for now, Michael’s happy, Michael’s content, and he wouldn’t trade what he had now for the world.

 

Just before the car reached Jeremy’s house, Jeremy suddenly placed a hand on Michael’s shoulder, causing the other to look at the boy. He met Jeremy’s eyes, staring straight into Michael’s, and Michael’s tiny heart couldn’t help but make a little jump. He didn’t show it in his face of course. “Jeremy?”

 

“We mean it, Michael,” Jeremy said quietly, a tentative smile gracing his lips. “You’re really great. Only you don’t believe that.”

 

Michael wanted to deny that, but the look in Jeremy face was so honest. Michael didn’t believe him, didn’t believe his moms, didn’t believe his friends, but with Jeremy looking at him like that? He couldn’t help but give in a little.

 

A sincere smile broke on Michael’s face, followed by a helpless chuckle escaping his mouth. “Alright, Jere, I’ll- I’ll believe that.”

 

Jeremy’s tentative smile bloomed into a full grin that light up his face, and a little, only a little, Michael believed Jeremy a little bit more.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s Joe Iconic!!! (i really hope i didn’t fuck it up eugh)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to give Michael all the love that he deserves, man. Is that too much?

The night after their karaoke sesh, Michael woke up to his phone vibrating nonstop. Earlier, just after he left the karaoke building, just as he climbed inside his PT Cruiser, his body screamed ‘Aha! You’re tired now so suck it!’ His eyes felt heavy when driving his car, and thankfully he didn’t crash nor got into other kind if accident. Jeremy’s chatting loudly all the way home, trying his best to keep Michael awake since he didn’t want to die as well. Immediately after he got home and changed his clothes, he crashed on his bed and fell asleep.

 

He groaned, displeased, rubbing his eyes. He pawed the surface near him for his phone, reaching and grabbing it. He sat up on the bed, opening his phone.

 

The squad’s group chat was blowing up like crazy. Michael tapped his screen, opening the chat. His mind’s too fuzzy and disoriented to make assumptions on what’s going on. There’s probably about a hundred new messages and he’s too sleepy to read from the top. He only read the latest messages instead.

 

jakeyD: I think this is a good thing, the vids getting so much positive feedback

 

bi-tch: yeah and our boi looks really great

 

imalwaysheere: Cmon guys, im not sure how michael would react

 

iloveplayrehearsal: Yeah! You guys know how he feels abt this kind of stuff

 

Michael frowned. What? React to what?

 

player1: react to what?

 

imalwaysheere: MICHAEL

 

iloveplayrehearsal: Michael!

 

jakeyD: Michael

 

bi-tch: miCHAEL

 

thisisjennaguys: michael im so sorry i shouldve asked for your permission first

 

thisisjennaguys: its really not my place to share it i know how much you hate attention but you were really really great earlier today and i couldnt help it its a good thing i didnt mention you in the tweet

 

thisisjennaguys: ill find a way to make it up to you i swear

 

player1: wait, what happened?

 

player1: i just woke up thanks to you guys

 

clo: Michael, you should check jenna’s newest tweet

 

brookiecookie: i think it’s really good ^^

 

So he opened his Twitter and started scrolling. He opened Jenna’s profile, finding the tweet. Michael’s eyes widened. He really should’ve expected this, but itstill surprised him. It’s a video of his singing earlier at the karaoke.

 

And it’s blowing up. There’s tons of likes and retweets of the tweet. Holy shit. Thank fuck he didn’t actually use his real name for his account and nobody except Jeremy and Rich knew about it and he could trust them to keep it a secret. He’s there for the memes, not school gossip.

 

Then he found that there’s a lot of supportive comment that made his heart swell a little, too.

 

He found Rich’s retweet that made him smiled. you guys should’ve seen it live, it’s a whole new level of awesomeness. i almost cried.

 

Michael kept scrolling, reading each positive comment or support people gave him. It’s overwhelming, but it’s a good kind of overwhelming. It all seemed very unfamiliar for the boy. But Michael kept smiling throughout his reading, motivating him further with each comment. Is this what being popular feels like?

 

He decided that this is all okay. He didn’t know what would happen tomorrow, but in this moment, he felt happy and motivated and loved.

 

thisisjennaguys: michael again im so so sorry i swear ill make it up to you somehow

 

player1: its okay jenna, this time i dont mind

 

player1: my face looks kinda blurry there anyway and you didn’t even mention my name

 

thisisjennaguys: michael youre serious youre not mad?????

 

player1: i dont feel mad

 

player1: somehow

 

player1: im actually flattered

 

bi-tch: SEE I TOLD YOU MY BOI LOOKS GOOD

 

jakeyD: Michael youre honestly really great there bro

 

iloveplayrehearsal: Oh thank god everything’s alright then!

 

imalwaysheere: Youre sure youre alright with this michael? if anyone even look at you funny tomorrow ill beat them up

 

player1: jerm my buddy i really appreciate but youre a twig

 

player1: and im alright with that

 

imalwaysheere: Okay man, if ghats alright with you

 

imalwaysheere: If everything goes shit you know ill be here for you

 

player1: aww thanks jere

 

bi-tch: GAY

 

A new chat notification popped up and it’s a private message from Jeremy.

 

imalwaysheere: Michael, youre okay right?

 

imalwaysheere: Youre not just saying that so jenna wouldn’t feel bad?

 

imalwaysheere: Id kick her butt if you actually feel shitty by all this

 

Michael smiled at the screen. Jeremy cared.

 

me: nah man im fine

 

me: im truly honesty flattered bro

 

me: glad to know you care ;)

 

imalwaysheere: Shut up

 

imalwaysheere: Alright man, just tell me if it gets a little too much okay

 

me: ofc jer

 

me: always

 

 

Michael plopped down to his bed, anticipation about tomorrow setting in his chest. Millions of scenarios played inside his head and most of them were good scenarios. He stared at the ceiling, his eyes slowly fluttering shut. He’s still tired despite the motivation he caught after opening Twitter.

 

He had a feeling something’s going to happen.

 

—-

 

It’s the morning after and Michael felt a little anxious, but only a little. He’s in front of Jeremy’s house, watching his best friend walking to the car.

 

“Hey, Michael,” Jeremy greeted as he got into the car, and Michael smiled back in return. The small anxiety shrink even smaller with his best friend’s presence.

 

“Hey, Jere.” Jeremy had insisted earlier to go together to school so he could accompany Michael to first period. It’s for protection, he explained earlier on the phone. I’ll glare at anyone who even got close to you. Michael only laugh and agree. Hey, it’s a chance to spend even more time with Jeremy, so why not?

 

Oh yeah, the karaoke yesterday where they eyefucked. He really hoped Jeremy didn’t catch on to that.

 

Michael ignited his car to life, carefully not bringing up anything. “Ready to go?”

 

“Mm,” Jeremy only hummed. That’s interesting. Usually he’d be talking about something just as his ass hit the seat. Quiet Jeremy didn’t always mean Bad Jeremy or Anxious Jeremy, but his quietness was definitely caused by something.

 

School’s not really that far from their house, but Michael preferred going with his beat up car than to walk and sweat on the way. He knew busses existed, but hey, instead of being stuck with strangers and being in danger of possible awkward situation, what’s wrong with driving his car? Nothing.

 

Jeremy would usually tag along, like how he’s there when Michael’s going home. Jeremy’s a constant in Michael’s life, and Michael wouldn’t anything else than that.

 

“So, Michael,“ Jeremy suddenly started, startling Michael a little. Jeremy’s tone sounded nervous. Oh boy. “I feel like- there’s- there’s something happening when you’re singing- yesterday.”

 

Yeah, they eyefucked. It looked like the boy did catch on to that. Michael truly wanted to elaborate fully. Too bad Jeremy’s taken, though.

 

“I don’t know, Jere,” Michael shrugged, playing dumb. No fucking way he’s going to admit he’s projecting his gay crush to the song right now. “Was there? I was just really emotional that time.”

 

“I dunno- I just felt like-“ Jeremy slumped back to his seat, defeated. “Never mind. It’s stupid.”

 

 _Okay, okay, what’s stupid?_ “Jeremy, you could get anything off your chest here, with me, you know that.”

 

“Yeah, I know, but it’s just-“ Jeremy hesitated. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. And was that a small blush on his cheeks or was he seeing things? “It’s not something you’d normally share with your best friend.”

 

“Best friend shares everything with their best friend,” Michael countered.

 

“But not this one I’m sure,” Jeremy insisted.

 

“Alright, man,” Michael gave up. He’s curious, sure, but if Jeremy’s not comfortable with that, he won’t pry. ‘Cause he’s such a good best friend and all that. “Just tell me if there’s something bothering you, okay? I’m your best friend, Jeremy.”

 

“Of course, man,” Jeremy’s smile was sincere. He quickly added, “There’s- something, but it’s nothing that I can’t handle.”

 

Michael’s mind went to the times where Jeremy said that line, and most of them ended up in disaster. But there’s something in his tone that sounded- different, like his guts were telling him to trust his best friend for once. So Michael trusted his guts, trusted Jeremy. “I trust you.”

 

Jeremy looked surprised, his eyes widening and okay, that’s a blush there. “I’ll- I’ll tell you about it another time, I promise.”

 

It’s not a long ride, so they arrived at school in no time. When they’re walking from the parking lot to the entrance, Michael mentally prepared himself for the worst with Jeremy reassuring him every step of the way.

 

“Hey! Jeremy! Michael!!” A familiar voice called out from behind them. They whipped around and there’s Christine waving excitedly as she rushed to them.

 

“Morning Christine,” Jeremy greeted at the same time with Michael’s, “G’morning Chris.”

 

“Morning guys!” Christine tackled them from the middle by their necks, pulling their heads to her height. There’s a different twist to her vibrant aura, just a tad bit more- aggressive. “Let’s walk together, okay?”

 

“Of course, Chrissy,” Jeremy immediately agreed, sharing a determined look with her. It took a beat or two for Michael to realize what just happened.

 

It’s the Michael Protection Squad.

 

They walked together in silence, entering the school. It didn’t come immediately, but as soon as people noticed them, there’s whispering and murmuring constantly happening around them. Quiet murmurs of ‘is that him?’ ‘what’s his name?’ ‘he’s the dude who’s always with jeremy heere’ ‘he’s friends with rich and jake too.’ But despite all that, no one approached them as they went to their own respective lockers.

 

Then, something caught his ear. He didn’t believe it at first, shrugging off as him mishearing, but it kept coming.

 

‘He sounds so good, you should see the video!’ ‘I can’t believe we didn’t know him.’ ‘I almost cried watching it, they weren’t kidding.’

 

And the positivity just kept coming. Instead of judging looks, there’s people who actually smiled at him, people who blushed and turned away shyly. It’s all so bizarre to Michael. This is an uncharted territory he’s walking. But then Jeremy and Christine both smiled at him happily, tugging him along.

 

“C’mon Michael, let’s go to class,” Jeremy offered, and Michael smiled back. It’s a good start.

 

 

 

The few days went on without a hitch, the only difference is that people smiled at him instead of giving him weird looks or flat out ignore him as if he didn’t exist. He earned the local good singer title by the school’s population, and he hoped he’d lived that title with a more bigger scale.

 

That’s something he’d been thinking about for awhile.

 

He had been thinking, this is his passion. Singing was his passion. Music was his passion. He’s not planning to be an all out singer, but he wanted to use his voice as the tool in his career. But Michael’s still unsure about the next step regarding to this revelation.

 

He got the opportunity to explore his vocal passion when he met a particular stranger one day at school.

 

It’s pretty fucking cliche.

 

As mentioned earlier, it’s been a few days since Michael’s ‘singing debut’ got posted, meaning it’s been a few days since people cared to actually acknowledge the existence of one Michael Mell. Their friends thought people would bother him but it turned out that only minimal bothering happened and the furthest thing someone did was smiled and waved and greeted him at the hall. Michael had to admit it felt nice.

 

Nobody bothered him, until he met this one stranger that literally bumped into him. Well, bother wasn’t the right word, it’s more of a ‘I know you can sing and I really need your help,’ kind of thing.

 

That time, Michael was walking down the hallway, minding his own business. The halls were deserted because classes were on going. Actually, he was asked to deliver books to their school’s local art class by a teacher, so he’s technically minding someone else’s business. He already finished his assignment because he aced Spanish class, so now he got to play as the teacher’s errand boy. He’s thinking of taking a quick trip to 7-11 after he’s done when suddenly someone bumped into him from behind, causing the books he’s carrying to fall down.

 

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry,” a masculine voice said behind him and he whipped around to see an unfamiliar dude rushing to help him gather his book. “I’m really sorry. I was spacing out and I didn’t see you there-“

 

“Dude, it’s alright.” Michael gave him a reassuring smile as the dude stacked the books on his hand again. “I’m fine, it’s no biggie.”

 

The dude opened his mouth to say something else but quickly shut it as he stared at Michael, the gears in his head turning as he think for a second. Then his eyes widened. “You’re- you’re Michael.”

 

Michael’s eyes also widened at that, surprised at the sudden recognition. “Yeah, that’s me.”

 

“You’re guy who sings Lay Me Down really good,” the dude added for further confirmation. There’s a lilt of something in his voice but Michael paid no mind to it.

 

Michael nodded, feeling a little prideful. He replied, sounding nonchalant, but there’s a smile gracing his lips, “You could say that.”

 

“Oh man, what a coincidence,” the guy said, running a hand through his hair, looking down. Then the dude stopped talking altogether. He seemed to be thinking.

 

Michael took it as a time to study the guy a little. He had nice, combed black hair. There’s also a pair of glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. He’s wearing a simple blue button-up with the sleeves rolled up and nice dark pants. He kinda looks like a nerd, but a polite and civilized one. Like John Mulaney. Is that right?

 

“I guess- I’ll be going then-“ Michel turned his heel to walk away to his destination, almost taking a step when the dude called out.

 

“No, wait!” the dude grabbed his shoulder, stopping Michael. His expression morphed into something akin to desperation. He pleaded, “Wait.”

 

Michael stopped, turning around. “Yeah?”

 

The dude halted, hesitating as if he didn’t know what to say, or how to say it. He continued anyway with a nervous tone, “Okay, this is probably going to sound really weird, but hear me out, okay?”

 

Weird was one way to describe him so- “Alright, I’ll listen.”

 

The dude’s face immediately lighted up. “Thanks man, that really means a lot-“ the dude was about to continue but realized how Michael’s state wasn’t ideal at the moment. “How about I walk with you to deliver those?”

 

“Lemme ask, how important is this stuff you’re going to tell me?” Michael asked before they could even move. It’s not that Michael had suspicions about the dude, he looked totally harmless.

 

“It’s- pretty important to me.” The dude scratched his head. “I need your help.”

 

Michael weighed his options. He could easily tell the guy he’s not interested in whatever he’s planning on doing and continue his day. He could also help the poor guy and listen to what he’s going to say. There’s a feeling in his gut telling him to give the guy a chance because something’s going to happen. Michael’s not sure if that thing’s a good thing or a bad thing, but the feeling kept insisting.

 

Then, Michael nodded, setting his mind. It’s not like he’s busy for the day or something. His slushie could wait.

 

“Alright, man, I’ll hear you out. Like, really hear you out. Seriously. You seemed desperate.” Michael gave the guy an easy grin. “But I don’t even know you, dude. And you already know who I am.”

 

“Oh! Right, sorry,” The guy also gave Michael his own grin. “My name’s Joseph Iconis, or Joe for simplicity.”

 

“And I’m Michael Mell,” Michael couldn’t help but add. Joe Iconis, he never heard that name before, but he sure liked the sound of it. “Alright, Joe, what’s this important thing that you need my help for?”

 

“Let’s take this somewhere else, I’ll walk with you.” They started walking, with Joe beside Michael. Now this felt really really weird because he’s casually talking to a complete stranger with ease and no help with his friends. But something’s telling him that this’ll turn out good, and Michael really hoped it wasn’t lying.

 

Joe smiled. “We have all period.”

 

 

Turns out, Joe’s a senior at the school. They exchanged a few facts about themselves when they’re walking. Joe found out that Michael’s a junior, half-fillipino and half-ecuadorian, and really like 7-11 slushies. Michael found out that Joe had a friend who he said almost exactly like Michael, but with headbands. Joe and him immediately hit it off, and Michael found that it’s easy to talk to the older boy and he’d like to be properly friends with him.

 

Wow. He has a friend outside the squad??? And it’s a senior, too??? Unbelievable. Unheard of.

 

Currently, they’re sitting on a bench facing the parking lot just outside school. The two boys were facing each other, Joe unveiling his woes.

 

“So, I’m planning on going to this university for music stuff, and they say that I need to release something- uh- good as an application,” Joe explained as he gestured wildly, Michael listening with slight interest.

 

“And?” Michael prompted.

 

“Basically I’m going to make a music video,” Joe continued, then he looked at Michael straight in his eyes. “And I’m going to need a singer.”

 

Michael’s brain needed more time to process that. “What?”

 

Joe raised his hands in defense. “It’s not exactly a music video! It’s not as fancy as you think. I only need shots of you singing or me playing the piano!”

 

“No, I meant-“ Now it’s Michael who’s gesturing wildly. He ended with his hand pointing to himself, a look of disbelief on his face. “Why me?”

 

“Why you?” Joe asked back, incredulous. “Why not you? You’re great!”

 

Michael flushed at the senior’s tone. He looked away, forcing out the words, “I’m sure there’s someone you actually know that can sing well.”

 

The incredulous look on Joe’s face only grew even more incredulous. He grabbed both of Michael’s shoulder. “You- Michael, you’re not just great, you’re amazing. Man, at that video, you didn’t just sing, you sing with emotion that even I could feel through the screen. That’s talent there, Michael.”

 

Michael’s flush grew even redder with Joe words and Joe quickly let Michael go when he realized that.

 

“Sorry, did I make you feel uncomfortable-?” Joe asked, the confident, firm tone he used earlier quickly dissipating.

 

“No, man-“ Michael laughed it off, scratching his head, his face still tinted red. “You’re just- embarrassing me with all those compliments.”

 

“Oh.” Joe grinned. “I mean all of those, you know.”

 

At that moment, Michael really liked to befriend the senior. At that moment, Michael decided.

 

“Alright man, I’m in.” Michael grinned back. “You sold me with those compliments.”

 

Joe beamed, jumping up and saying ‘yes!’ like a child who just got what they wanted.

 

Then Michael realized, what would Jeremy think of this? He never hung out with anyone without Jeremy. Michael’s entering yet again to another unfamiliar territory. But the anticipation and determination in his heart didn’t falter, and Michael really didn’t want to throw this away.

 

“How about we start tomorrow? At my house? My piano’s there so...” Joe suggested with a nervous tone that Michael’s starting to get use to.

 

Michael nodded. “Of course, man. Tomorrow.”

 

Joe grinned and it seemed so bright, it convinced Michael that everything’ll turn out fine.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have i mentioned that this is my first proper fic???
> 
>  
> 
> also, writing in mobile is a pain


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not intend to make this fic angsty it just happened!! I don’t know!!!

Michael swore he meant to tell Jeremy as soon as possible. It just- never came up. It literally couldn’t came up his throat.

 

Whenever he’s with Jeremy, his throat just stuck and then Jeremy’ll be chatting away about something ask. And when Jeremy asked if he got something to say, Michael, being an idiot, shook his head, then he’ll say “no dude, go on” and Jeremy’ll usual took that and continue, oblivious of Michael’s struggles to tell him about his newfound ‘after school singing rehearsal.’ Especially when they’re with the others, Michael found it really really hard to talk, no matter how comfortable he was with them.

 

Michael tried telling Jeremy in the morning, he tried when they’re going to class, at lunch, after school, then at their usual game night, but no, he backed down immediately as Jeremy’s eyes settled on him, and Michael’ll change the subject.

 

He’s such an idiot.

 

What’s he afraid of? Michael would ask himself but he’s still unsure what’s the answer. Was he scared that they’ll be mad he’s in something they aren’t? That they’ll assume he’s bragging? That they’ll insist to meet with the senior and Joe’ll find them much more better than Michael, much more interesting than Michael-

 

Michael quickly shot that thought dead with a curse and a mental scolding. Fuck.

 

It’s already been a few days since he first met Joe and agreed to help him with his- project. If he thought things with Jeremy were awkward and kinda tense, then things with Joe and the singing gig had been going great. He started going to Joe’s place at the same schedule Jeremy and co. had play rehearsal (Michael swore that was accidental and _not_ at all on purpose).

 

“It’s called- uh- ‘Broadway,’” Joe stated uncertainly as his hands hovered over the keys. It’s a few day ago, their first so-called ‘rehearsal.’ The senior looked at Michael, a contemplative look on his face. “Or ‘Broadway, Here I Come?’ I really want the word Broadway to be there.”

 

“I like the sound of ‘Broadway, Here I Come,’” Michael commented from his seat on the sofa. Then he added as an afterthought, “With an exclamation point.”

 

Joe gave Michael a tentative smile then raised his hands.

 

Joe played like a pro and Michael was mesmerized. The nervous senior he saw seconds ago completely vanishing as soon as his fingers danced on the keys. It’s beautiful. He felt honored Joe chose his voice to complete his piece of art. Michael’s nothing special and he’s sure there’s better voices at school who’d accept Joe’s request in a heartbeat.

 

It felt good to be chosen.

 

 _“And now I’m falling, baby through the sky, through the sky,”_ Joe sang, and sure, there’s cracks in his voice, but fuck if it didn’t sound good. _“I’m falling baby through the sky.”_

 

Michael also closed his eyes, feeling the song deeper.

 

He got choosen to do this, and he’s going to take it _seriously_. He’s going to sound good. Look out world, because Michael Mell’s coming with a killer voice.

 

_“It’s my calling, baby, don’t you cry, don’t you cry, I’m falling down through the sky.”_

 

 

 

The days kept going on and Michael still kept quiet about it.

 

Michael glanced at Jeremy’s figure walking towards the car. “Morning Jere.”

 

“Hey dude,” Jeremy greeted as he got into his car, smiling, all happy and sunshine. Michael quickly caught on Jeremy’s mood and couldn’t help but to start smiling himself.

 

“Someone’s looking happy and it’s only morning,” Michael fished, eyeing Jeremy with an easy grin. “What’s up?”

 

“Well, yesterday at rehearsal we apparently did a good job and Mr. Reyes was in a good mood,” Jeremy started excitedly, his eyes twinkling. “He said that he’s treating us at Pinkberry today after school.”

 

Michael’s heart immediately dropped inside his chest, setting off a bitter coldness that he’s so familiar with these days. Today was ‘Spend Time At Michael’s Basement’ day and Jeremy’s spending time with the squad minus him. Again. But Michael schooled his expression, a picture perfect of not betraying any trace of disappointment or sadness that he usually put up at his best friend. He should be glad for Jeremy. This was Jeremy’s dream school life; popularity, friends, _Christine_ , and Michael’s going to support him all the way.

 

No matter how much it fucks him up inside and eats him alive.

 

So he smiled, as if everything’s fine and dandy and said, “That’s great, man! I bet Brooke and Chloe are going to force you and the others their favorites.”

 

“I only had Pinkberry once but I forgot how it tastes like,” Jeremy replied with a grin, thinking about it in his head. “Everyone’ll be there though, so it’s alright.”

 

 _Everyone, huh?_ Michael thought bitterly as he started his car.

 

“So, you’ll go home with Brooke today?” Michael asked, his eyes fixed on the road as he started driving.

 

“Wait, I though I’m going home with-“ Jeremy eyes widened, realization sinking in his head. His expression turned guilty in a matter of seconds. “Michael, shit, sorry, I forgot-“

 

“Nah, it’s alright man, I’ll just be going home early,” Michael said dismissively, determined on not looking at Jeremy.

 

“No, Michael- I- Maybe I could convince Mr. Reyes to let you come,” Jeremy tried, but his voice faltered with every word. They knew Mr. Reyes had no tolerance for outsiders.

 

“Jeremy, it’s-“

 

“I could ask the others to help me convince Mr. Reyes, I’m sure they’ll agree-“

 

“It’s alright,” Michael cut him off, finally tearing away his gaze to look at Jeremy for a second. The guilty and sad expression’s still there. Michael’s not one-hundred percent okay, but his face was soft and tender and telling Jeremy that it’s okay. “I’ll be fine without one game night for this week.”

 

“But- we’re supposed to spend time together today,” Jeremy said weakly, frowning even more. “I don’t have to go, I could just tell them that I’m not going-“

 

Now Michael just felt bad. He always felt bad for being shitty all the time on the inside, but now he felt especially bad. Jeremy sounded genuinely sad about it. That’s good, Michael’s scared that he stopped caring for a moment-

 

“And miss all the fun times with the others at Pinkberry?” Michael cut him off again, a scolding tone in his voice. “I don’t think so.”

 

Jeremy made a protesting sound, “But Michael, we-“

 

“Jeremy,” Michael used a tone that usually made Jeremy listen. Jeremy clamped his mouth shut, but his expression’s still not happy. “Listen. This is your time, man. The peak of high school. We’ve been together for years, Jeremy, what’s wrong with a few days with your new friends and without me?”

 

“But,” Jeremy stared at Michael in the eyes. “But I want you there, too.”

 

The words care-punched Michael in the heart and screeched inside as warm engulfed his chest. God, he still _cared_.

 

But Michael only offered a small, sincere smile. _It’s alright, Jeremy still genuinely cares about you_ , he reasoned internally.

He reassured softly, “I’ll be fine, Jeremy. I’m sure I’ll fine something to do to pass the time.”

 

Jeremy seemed conflicted because of this, quieting down to have an internal debate within himself, staring off at the distance with his face set into a frown. Michael dully recalled that it’s Jeremy thinking look mentally. Then he spoke up again, voice small, asking, “It’s really alright with you, Michael? You’re not mad or anything?”

 

“Why would I be mad, man?” Michael responded with a trained smile. He’s not mad. He’s _truly not mad_. “Go have fun at Pinkberry. We’ll spend time together some other day.”

 

Jeremy stared, his eyes swirling with unreadable emotions. “I don’t deserve you, Michael,” He said instead, a huge, real smile gracing his lips, lighting his whole face up. “You’re too nice for me.”

 

“Of course, man.” Now this was genuine. Michael smiled back his friend. He replied, “I’m your best friend, after all.”

 

“And you’re my favorite person,” Jeremy’s smile was still there.

 

Michael’s smile widened. “And don’t you ever forget it.”

 

 

True to his words, Jeremy and co. were indeed going to Pinkberry with all the other theater kids. Michael heard the announcement right after he finished his last period alone. What a coincidence he had no friends to share class with at the last period. He then felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. There’s a text from Jeremy, asking ‘if he’s really okay with it and not mad at all.’ At least Jeremy remember.

 

Me: i told you im okay with it right

 

Me: go have fun at pinkberry and shit

 

Michael stared at the screen as Jeremy’s answer popped up.

 

imalwaysheere: lol okay

 

imalwaysheere: dont do anything stupid without me

 

Now that earned a smile from Michael. But the slightly warm feeling faded away quickly. 

 

For a few moments he just sat there as the other students immediately rushed out, then eventually the teacher left also.

 

He’s literally alone now.

 

The class was quiet now, only the sound of the clock ticking and muffled students chatting away in the background could be heard. They sounded so far away. 

 

Like Jeremy. 

 

Michael felt like shit. He knew he shouldn’t be left alone with his thoughts. It’ll eat him alive. He should get up, do something, _leave_. But he’s stuck there, his body freezing against his will. He’s alone when he’s supposed to be with Jeremy right now. Fuck. He knew he shouldn’t feel like this. Jeremy asked if he was okay with it, and Michael’s truly okay with it, but fuck, he still felt lonely, he still felt abandoned, he still felt that he’s not good enough for Jeremy-

 

“Michael? Is that you?” A familiar voice startled Michael out of his head, the tone also expressing surprise.

 

Michael finally registered who’s voice it was after a few seconds and he’s afraid that he’s right. No no no, he can’t be here right now. _Not right now_.

 

Reluctantly, Michael looked up, aware of his current state at the moment and trying his damnest to hide it and act fine.

 

It really was Joe, looking at Michael with surprise and slight concern.

 

“Why’re you still here? Surely you heard the bell,” Joe asked again with even more concern in his tone, sensing there’s something up with the younger boy.

 

Michael only stared helplessly, struggling to get something out of his throat. Joe’s still looking at him expectantly. “Joe. What- what are you doing here?”

 

“Ms. Dotts caught me at the hall and told me to fetch her book she forgot,” Joe answered carefully, raising a book on his grip from the table, eyes still scanning Michael with worry. Slowly, he started approaching him, the look of concern stronger than ever.

 

Michael stared at the approaching senior, silent except the heavy breathing coming from him. Joe’s right beside him now, and Michael couldn’t bring himself to meet his eyes, so he looked down at the desk, his grip on his hoodie getting tighter just as his breathing getting even more ragged and harsher. No, _not now_. He desperately tried to control his breathing but it’s _really hard_ and it’s easier to just break down. He felt like crying, or screaming, or something, but nothing came out, only a silent mess killing himself slowly inside. Fuck fuck _fuckfuckfuck_ -

 

“Michael.”

 

He’s going to be alone eventually. Everyone’s going to leave him. Jeremy’s going to leave him.

 

“Michael,” Joe called again, and you could grab the concern in his voice and cut it in half. He’s  shaking the younger boy, not roughly, but it didn’t register in Michael.

 

Michael shut his eyes tightly.  _Jeremy already left him before, he could do it again._

 

“Michael, snap out of it.”

 

_Get out of my way, **loser**._

 

“Michael!”

 

Michael gasped.

 

Joe stopped shaking the boy. He swore to god he almost bolted out the class to call the nurse. “Michael?”

 

Michael’s eyes finally focused on Joe’s, finally looking up. The senior let out a breath of relief. “Joe?”

 

“Michael.” A grin of relief broke on his face, then falter slightly, then he frowned. “Michael, you’re crying.”

 

Michael didn’t realized the wet tracks on his face. Slowly, he brought his hand to his face, and indeed, his face was wet with tears.

 

“I’m sorry, Joe, I-“ Michael tried to say but broke into a coughing fit.

 

Joe immediately started rubbing his back soothingly, the worry back in his expression. It didn’t make him feel any better. “Take it easy, Michael. Breathe.”

 

Michael breathed in deeply, his head still a bit fuzzy but the world around him got clearer. He’s still slightly dizzy, but it’s better compared to a moment ago.

 

“You’re alright now, Michael?” Joe asked softly, still rubbing the younger boy’s back. Michael nodded. He needed to leave.

 

“I’m sorry- I’m sorry you had to see that,” Michael murmured quietly, not meeting Joe’s eyes.

 

“Sorry? No, you don’t have to apologize. There’s nothing to apologize for.” Joe stood straighter to look out the windows, eyes searching in confusion. “Where’s your friend, Michael? I always saw you with your friend every morning right before class.”

 

“He’s busy,” Michael responded quietly. He stood up slowly, using his desk as support. He’s still a tad dizzy, but a few steps would do the trick and he’d be all set to get the fuck out of this place. “I’m okay, Joe, I should get going.”

 

“Michael, no, you-“ Joe grabbed Michael by the shoulder before he could leave, his tone desperate. “You can’t just say you’re okay right after breaking down like that.”

 

“I’m fine, really, Joe.” Michael gave Joe a tired, strained, lackluster smile, knowing full well he’s not convincing the senior one bit, but he still did it anyway. His mouth moved before he could think about his words, “I’m used to this.”

 

“You’re used to this?” Joe repeated incredulously. _Uh oh_ , Michael thought dully, suddenly too tired to think. Joe shook his head in horror, his eyes widening. “Nobody’s suppose to be used to that.”

 

The room’s too quiet for Michael to think carefully. He needed to go. He really needed to _leave_.

 

There’s a long silence before Michael gave Joe a tired, withering look, frowning deeply. A harsh sigh escaped from his mouth. With a small voice, he said, he pleaded, “Just leave me, Joe. Please.”

 

The look on Joe’s face after Michael said that made Michael’s heart clenched. Fuck. The senior’s only trying to help him. He had no right to be an ass about it. Fuck fuck. He’s so tired, though. “I’m sorry, Joe, I just- I just can’t right now, okay? I-“

 

“I understand, Michael,” Joe cut him off, voice soft yet sad. The pained expression’s still there, but the Joe gently patted Michael’s shoulder. “Just drive safely, alright? I don’t want my singer dying before we finish filming.”

 

If he’s faced with his other friends right now, he’s sure they’re too dense to take a hint and actually understand he **needed** to be alone. The earned a real, grateful smile from Michael. The younger one gave a harsh-sigh smile, the air coming out from his mouth in surprise. He’s not good, but he’s better now. It’s a stretch, but he’s alright now. “Thank you.”

 

The expression on the senior’s face softened. Before turning around and leaving the room, he said, “Take care.”

 

It’s just him again now, but this time his thoughts were more organized, controlled, less-hateful. _He’s not good, but he’s better now,_ he kept repeating in his head.

 

He’s alright, he kept repeating in his head. He’s alright.

 

 

 

He’s not alright. Fuck. He’s not alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don’t worry lads we’ll be getting more Jeremy after this

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos give me life


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